Memories

I am moving two weeks from Friday.
Moving to a home with a partner, a man I never thought I would find: funny, smart, caring, silly, and really loving in his own sort of endearing way.
I am leaving the perfect house, that upon seeing with the doors locked, as I peered through the windows I knew it would be mine. It was.
It has been the past 9 years.
My home alone, for the first time back in 2001.
My sanctuary from life and from the life of roommates the 10 years prior.
I dated in that house.
Hosted friends in that house.
Was trying to have a child,
and on my knees with grief in that house when I knew that I was losing my pregnancy, and my fertility thereafter.
I had morning sickness in that house.
I remember cooking ground turkey in my tiny kitchen-and as it cooked I became progressively more nauseous.
Poultry when I was pregnant became so disgusting in that house.
I fell there while I was pregnant, and left my house to stay with my parents when my doctor placed me on bed rest.
I took Aidan home to that house, (our house) and forged a life together there-the two of us with our pooch.

At times I feel a bit of grief that the time has come to leave this house, and the tiny place I lived while I came so far.
I am blown away by the progress and subtle sadness that moving has made me feel these days.
My new home with Kevin is happening at a time when Aidan is growing up and moving to kindergarten, I am moving from being a single mom raising a child to becoming a partnership with a man I love and raising my child together.
He talks about the future.
He talks about Aidan when he grows up, with the same kind of certainty that I feel when I think about him in my future.
Goodbye to the old, and hello to the new.
So excited yet melancholy.
Such is life.