Work

Today I was tired.
So tired and completely overwhelmed at work that I was paralyzed with so much do do, that I felt like I did nothing.
Sometimes when I am tired like this, I think about how hard I work.
Working two jobs to make ends meet.
Working two jobs that I love, with students and young babies and children.
I am making a difference.
That is really important to me.
But I am tired.
I taught last night, and came home late from my night class.
I was a bit pissy at the low scores my students earned on their first exam, despite my efforts to get them prepared.
I was pissy that I did not see Kevin this morning before I left for work.
Pissy that I have to do an hour of homework with Aidan when I come home feeling like this.
But somewhere in this pissy, irritating, and probably hormonal afternoon
I realized that I was participating in a priceless moment that I had to run to get my camera to capture.
Aidan with his permanent marker in one hand, holding the mini pumpkin he has to decorate for homework this week. He was working hard and concentrating on what he was doing.
A moment later he was painting the pumpkin face with one of my painbrishes and red paint. He had his tongue out of his mouth like I do when I am concentrating-
As I sat and stared I realized that this is what I had always dreamed of and never thought would happen-
I am living with the man I love
raising the child I have loved and dreampt about even before I had him
working to make the best life possible for all of us.
I am tired.
I work really hard.
I try really hard.
I put a lot of me into what is important-
my work
my love
my son,
and sometimes
getting a full, uninteruppted nights sleep does not happen.
But I cherish every moment,
even when I don't know it at the time.