Faults

I wish I blogged more.
I have so much to say so much of the time, but really, I just have no time. That sounds so cliche.
Truthfully, I probably don't take enough time.
Working full time, (two jobs in fact!) does not leave me much mental room to express all that is in my head.
I store it inside.
I talk about it when I can. In the car, with my mom, my boyfriend, my sisters. In between the living and shuffling that a working parent does with a kid every day. The working and shuffling, and the time between trying to be present with your kid, while you get your stuff done each day. I come home, so tired, drink a glass of wine..do the dinner thing, fall asleep with Aidan, and another day is over.
The words inside are in there...the me I like to share here, bubbling underneath the surface until after time it pushes up like a volcano.
I envy those that take the time.
I feel so good when I do, when the inner me bubbles up like it used to do: when I put pen to paper.
Thanks to grad school, I can't write like that any more. I must write now into the computer.
Funny, it seems even my writing mind is changing as my life changes, gets busier but lately even more fulfilling.
That is it.
I am loving, living and being a me that is so new and comfortable in the moment that I want to share these new discoveries-of being a single parent in a fulfilling and loving relationship, of making changes and creating new beginnings that are slowing making the future I never thought I was destined for.
It feels good.
but it leaves me little time to reflect in writing.
I need to play more with Aidan, and make time to write.
Ugh.